Glider ride today. Boss Hogg was absent, but the Dad and the Kid reappeared. As did the Guest Lecturer. Remember that Duetsche Bank from a couple of months ago?

Anyway we were doing the 27/41 loop. We were supposed to go to a double paceline when we hit this county road, but nobody did for some reason. I confirmed the original plan with the ride captain and then rode up to the front to pass along that info. They looked at me like it was news to them even though we had all agreed on doing that 20 minutes ago. Honestly I don't know what got into me. I really don't give a crap. It's like every once in a while I'll get a wild hair and actually strike up a conversation with someone. It almost always ends in an awkward disaster because I'm socially inept at anything other than discussing the incongruity of the epic scope of Molly Hatchet album covers versus the lameness of their actual music.

So the ride was going Ok. Right before the big hill the Dad took off on one of his fly-by's. I let him go. Then the Guest Lecturer pulled up next to me and started pushing the pace. Typically people who want to ride harder on the hill are welcome to, but this blazing it up before the hill even starts is a new development. Anyway we ride together for a little while then he passes me. I'm not going totally apeshit up the hill but it was a solid effort.

Fast forward 10 minutes later I'm at the front again getting ready to go up the I-75 hill. Once again the Dad starts to blow by me. At first I let him go then I'm like "Fuck you, Dad" and I get out of the saddle and start going hardcore on his ass. I catch him at the top of the hill. He's all like "I'm dropping back to check on my boy".

Now I realize that everyone that was behind me is way back there. They all got dropped when I accelerated up the hill. So I'm on my own (cue Michael McDonald). A couple minutes later Guest Lecturer, the Semi and San Diego (this woman from San Diego) catch back up and we all ride the last 4 miles in together. At some point frickin' Skeletor caught up and did his typically sprint to the finish. I thought about going with him, but it just seemed undignified.

Set a new time record on the Millhopper route today coming in at 38:22. When a blew through my first check point on the route 20 seconds faster than usual I knew I wasn't just selling the steak, I was selling the sizzle. And that was going into a small headwind. On the way back that headwind turned into a tailwind and I was flying the flannel. It was still tough but I was determined, snapping necks and cashing checks in the 50:15 gear. As they say records are made to be broken and this one fell by over 30 seconds. Average speed 20.8 mph.

Pretty good Glider ride today. I was tired from working Monday night, then having to turn around and work Tuesday morning. After I got off work I drove to Jax with V to see the Fleet Foxes.

At one point Boss Hogg and I were riding side by side at front in the double paceline. He struck up a conversation noting that he had seen me commuting while dropping his daughter off for school along Glen Springs road. He inquired about my job, how much I rode, what I rode on the weekend.

In the home stretch down 53rd ave I kept waiting for someone to rev up the pace but they never did. We were doing 22-25mph. The Parakeet was sandwiched between Boss Hogg and me at the front. I kept expecting her to drop off and I was checking my new Italian Bike Mirror to make sure the coast was clear to pass her. She was able to stay up though. She does this weird thing when she is straining. She pushes down on her right leg with her arm to get a little more oomph on her pedal stroke. I guess it works for her, but it seems odd.

There is this dumb light on 53rd and Main. When it is red we are supposed to stop. When I'm riding solo I never do because Main dead ends on our side of the road. So there are no cars going straight that would run into us. As members of the Gainesville Cycling Club we are supposed to obey all traffic rules and there is the possibility that a car could see us while turning, freak out and clip us. Anyway the light turned red. Hogg and I started to slow down, but everything seemed cool so we just said fuck it. I'll probably get a lecture about that next week, but hey I was just following the Hogg's lead and that guy is bulletproof to criticism.

Two men on the town.

Monday Millhopper ride was windy. I clocked in at 40:00. Still well off my best time but one of my better efforts according to my power meter. Stayed in the harder gear that I used on Saturday for the most part. The gear is 50:15 for anyone that remotely cares. My average cadence was 75. My short term goal is get it up to get it up to 80 and then go from there. Until about a month ago I was riding in easier gears and pedaling fairly fast (95-110 rpm) so I'm trying to mix things up a bit.

The ride home from work tonight was pretty exhilarating. Listened to OFF! and then my Naked Raygun/Pegboy mix. I will go to my grave swearing that John Haggerty is the master of chunky punk guitar riffing. So if you are asked to give a eulogy at my funeral you might want to throw that in there. And maybe mention that I loved cake.

Rode the Hawthorne trail solo Saturday. I had skipped my normal Friday Racetrack loop so my legs were a little fresher. I dropped down to the next hardest gear from my normal default gear. It was game day and there was lots of traffic to weave through on the way to the trail head. I had my new “Italian Bike Mirror” installed. It didn’t move around like my old mirror but it did make stuff appear further away than it really was.

Anyway tons of people were on the H-trail. The white haired guy and his massive crew of foreign joggers were out in full force. Even after passing them lots of other walkers, runners and bikers were in the mix. I passed the slow moving guy that used to acknowledge people with a solitary note on his bike bell. Of late he has foregone this. I slowed down and said hi hoping he would sound the bell but I got nothing. Maybe something has made him bitter.

I’m still dreaming about the epic bike ride with the CoF for my birthday Thursday. We accomplished the coveted goal of eating desserts at Karma Cream, Sarkara Sweets and Sweet Dreams. We paced ourselves early on, but Sweet Dreams was the last stop and I unloaded with the banana split with 3 scoops of ice cream.

Glider ride this morning. Boss Hogg was a no show. Without him mugging interminably at the front everyone else stepped up a little. The ride captain who is an older guy who can never keep up when things get faster was in Arizona. Those 2 absences made us a lean machine. On my way to the start point I was thinking about the Dad and the Kid. It dawned on me that the Kid should be in class Wednesday morning and undoubtedly is home schooled. This notion was corroborated by the "Choose Life" license plate I noticed on their van as I wheeled in to the group meetup spot.

During the ride the old guy I mentioned last week had a couple of good pulls at the front. The guy has to be at least 70 and is still holding it down. Even sneaky Skeletor took a couple of tough turns at the front. Although he still had to act like a jackwagon at the end by drafting off of Publix and the Dad and then sprinting ahead to the finish when they were tired. What does that prove?

Speaking of annoyances I was leading the group at about the 3/4 mark. I had been at the front for 6 minutes and was ready to drop back. We crossed 441 and I moved to the side to fall back. But the people behind me wouldn't pass. They just slowed down too. So here I am out in the road on 441 with my dick in my hand 2 seconds from getting run over. I had to move back in at the front and keep pedaling my ass off. I am getting really tired, I try to drop back a second time and the same shit happens. No one will move up. I guess I should have just put my brakes on. Instead I get back in at the front again. Finally, the Dad just passes a bunch of people and takes over acknowledging that he saw I was trying to drop back. Which was cool of him. So he rides pretty hard for a couple of minutes and calls it quits. Of course that means I'm at the front again. Part of the problem is the Parakeet was behind me and she is not a strong rider. She appears to be in her late 40's and has a tiny frame. She just doesn't have the strength to accelerate when we are already riding at a decent clip.

Anyway I got in a pretty decent work out. Afterward I thanked the Dad for bailing me out. He told me the Kid is only 13. The Kid could be a beast once he's older.

Biking downtown to brunch with V Saturday morning I realized that I had biked over 100 miles in the past 27 hours. The brunch was surprisingly great. Crab Cake Benedict and stuffed French toast from Emiliano's. Big time ride with the CoF Saturday. We spoke at length about the grandeur of REM's "Harbor Coat". I may go on an early REM freak out. I haven't decided yet.

The CoF has a few bug out zones where he likes to drop the hammer. They include after descending out of the Hammock in either direction. He takes the momentum from the downhill portion and just goes berserk. One day I should get someone to dress up like a cop with radar gun and have them wait around the corner.

Friday's Racetrack loop was pretty good. Lit up some serious watts, but missed setting a new PR because of some BS traffic stops I had to make in the name of safety. Today's Millhopper loop was similar. I had an all time best watts of 211 but my time was still 30 seconds off my best. Breaking that record is going to be a bear unless I hire a dude to drive behind me with a giant fan.

I was wheelin' and dealin' on the Racetrack loop today. Might have been able to set a personal best time if it weren't for a few stops for traffic. Overcast day was a welcome respite from the searing summer heat. V was swimming at the Y so after I finished the loop we road back home together. The route she likes to take passes right by the listed address of a bunch of oxycodone roaches that come to my store. I'm tempted to check it out, but I'm no detective and these people are almost definitely criminals who don't exactly roll out the welcome mat for looky loos.

Rode the Sempre to work yesterday. Left early enough so I could do my 1 minute spurts of harder riding. Kept it over 300 watts and didn't get run over which are my usual two main goals.

Riding the Hawthorne trail with the CoF tomorrow morning- our first ride together since I came back from NYC. Should be epic.

Rode with the Gliders this morning. Things were pretty laid back during the first half. Boss Hogg, Skeletor, Publix, the Semi, the Parakeet, the Dad and the Kid were all in the mix. The Dad evidently used to race and is there mainly to introduce the Kid to group cycling. The Kid looks to be about 15. Anyway, the Dad mainly hangs back with the Kid but will occasionally go up to the front and pull away on these little mini-bugouts.

The Parakeet, I have learned is a triathelete. Skeletor despite being a nice guy is a big time wheel sucker and I have lost a little respect for him. He will Duetsche Bank it up by passing up turns at the front just so he can try to blitz you with his extra energy at the end. I'm not down with that. Publix despite appearing to be in his late 50's is in good cycling shape.

So anyway we are in the second half of the ride. We're doing double paceline and it's Boss Hogg and me at the front. Mentally I'm thinking I'm staying up here until Hogg says he's dropping back. It's dumb but his front running ways irk me. We just ride silently. I've given up on small talking to these people ever since my super awkward attempt at trying to talk to the Kid last week.

After the train tracks Hogg announces he's falling back and I do the same. Next up is Chestnut Hill. A big mama grade elevation by Gainesville standards. In truth it only takes a minute to climb but when I get to the top I can't catch my breath. This is normal for me on this hill but I hate the feeling. It's like drowning. I was leading the paceline going into the hill so I was already a little gassed. As a result Boss Hogg and sneaky Skeletor passed me going up it. Boss Hogg is a bad ass, I have to give it to him. Dude never even got out of his saddle, just dropped the hammer and pedaled away from me. Oh and a minute earlier the Dad had taken off on one of his mysterious walkabouts and was up the hill before everyone. Again the dude never left his saddle.

Anyway now we are in the home stretch down Millhopper Road. Six and a half miles to go. This older gentleman who is pretty cool but I don't have a nickname for is leading the way. He must be feeling frisky in the cool air because he normally doesn't exhibit this kind of stamina. He gives way to the Semi. The Semi is friends with Boss Hogg. He is a UF professor and he and Hogg talk about UF, breastfeeding (see last week's post), whatever. He hangs in there for a couple of minutes then I'm up. Just around the corner is the I-75 hill. So I'm just about to crest the hill and out of nowhere the mother flippin' Dad passes me. Now I'm tired. I've been pedaling hard for the past 3 minutes. I'm not some cycling superstar like the Dad or Boss Hogg with vacuum cleaner lungs, tree trunk thighs and blood supersaturated with hemoglobin. I'm just a middle aged pharmacist with an arthritic spine and a wonky prostate just trying to get some exercise. But on the other hand I'm the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse and I owe it to myself to try to catch this seersucker. So I rise up out of the saddle and start going hardcore. And a funny thing happens I catch the dude and start drafting off his ass. Then even stranger no sooner had he led his big charge then he pulls off to the side and motions for me to pass. I'm thinking what in the H-E double hockey sticks is going on here? What was that grand gesture of passing me all about if he was just going to punk out ten seconds later?

Anyway back to the ride. I go another 30 seconds and hand it off to Publix. At this point it's me, Publix and Boss Hogg. Two miles out Publix gets a flat. I slow down thinking we are going to stop and help him out, but Publix tells Hogg to keep going. Again out of the saddle I catch up to the Hogg. I tuck behind his wheel and follow him in. I must say the guy could have blown me out and dropped me like a bad habit, but he cruised to the end letting me draft him at 23-24 mph. We finished together said nice ride and went our separate ways.

Had to work 9-5 on Labor Day so I went out early to do the Millhopper Loop. I hadn't ridden in 5 days and the pedals were turning easy. At the halfway point I thought I was a lock to set a new best time but it didn't happen. My fastest time ever (a month ago) was aided by a tailwind that kicked up on the way back so it will be tough to beat that one.

Still it felt good to be back in the saddle. After work I went by Bikes and More to pick up the freshly tuned Cortinas. The chains had been replaced among other things. The new parts were glistening. Keith was signing up some dude to race for their 352 team. I spoke to other Christian about NYC and folding bikes. Did I mention that some Brooklyn breakfast place played REM's Dead Letter Office in its entirety one morning? Hadn't heard that in a while. It was combined with the sound of some guy trying to sledgehammer a U-lock of off some old parts stripped bike locked out front. It didn't come off.