Last week I noticed that the front tip of my bike seat was really starting to shoe horn my nut sack. The front of the seat was tilted up probably because whenever I pick up the bike I have a bad habit of lifting it from the seat. Anyway I adjusted it and now things are free and easy.

This is going to sound dumb but I had a minor revelation regarding adjusting the diameter of my bike helmet. Even though I'm always wearing various old school head phones and head bands I always adjusted my helmet using the strap only. This led to some awkward fitting situations. Anyway it finally dawned on me, hey I could fiddle with the diameter band adjustment in the back of the helmet. This has opened up whole new frontiers and vistas of comfort and safety.

I realize now that my bike fell over Thursday night because my kickstand is on the verge of falling off. Really it's like when you nearly severe your finger doing yard work and it's just hanging there barely attached squirting blood everywhere. I'll probably take it to B&M soon. I need to check out their new shirts anyway.

Riding the Hawthorne trail with V on Saturday was loco caliente. We were in the noon day sun shaking and baking. You know that bridge area where the ducks sometimes are? We walked out on that deck just to check out what was up. I had never done that before. It was nice, kind of relaxing.

Glider ride today (Wednesday). The ride in general has become boring. The level of effort when not at the front is pretty minimal. Often times I'm generating less watts than my shoot the shit ride with the CoF and it's not like I get to talk about Iron Maiden with the Gliders.

During the ride I did get stung by a bee or something. It just landed on my leg and did its thing. The skin was irritated for about 5 minutes.

I saw this Mondrian style jersey online.
http://www.excelsports.com/image.asp?item=LOOK%20Mondrian%20Jersey.jpg

It was raining on the way home today (Tuesday). I was wearing my rain cape waiting on the corner of 34th and Archer for the light to change. Some young man in an SUV driving by looked at me and said, "You look like a giant yellow dildo."

He said it in a matter of fact manner, not screaming or obnoxious even though it seemed like he was trying to amuse his friends. It was like it was his first time heckling someone from a car and he hadn't quite gotten the hang of it. Of course I could have said something crude such as "Yeah like the kind your boyfriends banged you with last night." In the moment though I was too dumbfounded by the fact that the rain cape has kind of an octopus shape and is really the antithesis of what a dildo looks like. If he had said I looked like a giant yellow douche bag I could almost see how he would come to that conclusion.

Oh and Lizard Lips from the Glider ride came into the pharmacy. He was accompanying a woman picking up a prescription. We didn't acknowledge that we knew each other which was as it should be.

Rode with the CoF on the Hawthorne trail Saturday. That guy's an animal going around 30mph not even clipped in to pedals, riding on thick ass monster truck tires.

Today's (Monday) ride on the Millhopper loop set a new personal record by 9 seconds, averaging 20.4 mph for anyone keeping score. There was a lot of activity in the bike lane. I had to pass an above average number of cyclists and joggers, including this one middle aged lady with a bunch of stomach tattoos who I see out there often. A cop on a motorcycle had pulled over a truck. They were still camped out in the bike lane when I was coming back in the opposite direction.

Let's see, at the bottom of the I-75 hill there was a bread truck pulled over in the lane with a flat tire, a guy on the I-75 overpass partying with a weed whacker, lots of random stuff.

I guess my new Millhopper loop goal should be to bust through the 39 minute barrier.

When I came home I threw all my sweat drenched clothes and gloves on the back deck to dry out. This is an attempt to reduce the overall hamper funk, improve the odor of my gloves and cut down on festering bacteria.

This past weekend I had to rewear a soiled jersey for the Hawthorne trail ride. It had just been hanging out in the hamper. I grabbed the one that stunk the least and went for it. At the end of the H-trail ride I smelled like a homeless bigfoot. I went to Bikes and More right after the ride and felt really bad for them as I became aware of my horrific stench. I guess I'll buy some extra jerseys too.

Set a personal record on the Racetrack loop today (Friday) although honestly I don't know how. I was hung up at 441 intersection coming and going. I felt tired during the second half and my watts were nothing to write home about. The wind must have helped me out or something. Anyway I'll take it.

On the cool down ride back home I saw a little kid blowing leaves off the sidewalk of a big subdivision. There was some lawn vehicle parked nearby like this was his job. I felt bad. I wanted to tell him that in the scheme of the universe blowing leaves and plant debris around is just about the biggest waste of time and energy there is.

Minutes later my phone rang but I couldn't answer it. My phone has gone insane. The touch screen doesn't work and it will randomly call people, open apps type gibberish and refuse to work. Maybe my smart phone has developed technophobia.

Rode with the Gliders this morning (Wednesday). Did I mention this one guy who I call Lizard Lips? He seems like a pretty ok dude, but those freakin lizard lips give me the willies. Got a couple of lectures from another guy during the ride.

Apparently I was going to fast leading at the beginning of the ride even though I was adhering to their 21 mph speed limit. Evidently people need a warm up phase even though everyone biked to the meeting place beforehand. I personally hate long warm ups. I think they are a waste of time and energy. When I ran track and lifted weights I usually just did the barest minimum of warm ups. Just show up and do the shit, that's what I say.

Later I was in front with the same dude in a double paceline. I wanted to ride faster so I kept inching ahead. This is a big no no in group ride etiquette, known as "half-wheeling". Apparently the average rider's mental state is so precarious that having your bike wheel one scintilla in front of theirs in a double pacelinne causes great mental duress.

I knew I was doing it, but I was bored and wanted to go faster. Finally, he pipes up and says we should try to ride with our handle bars side by side. I said nothing.

In the homestretch on Millhopper Rd I pulled fairly hard for about 5 minutes through the hilly section. I was able to successfully reattach to the back of the group of what was now down to 4 other dudes.

I did another one minute pull with about a mile to go before giving up the ghost and getting dropped. I probably should have tried harder to hang on.

Rode the Hawthorne trail Saturday with the Cyclist on Fire for the second weekend after his unintended layoff. He wasted no time deciding to get on the good foot and we blew past a bunch of cyclists and joggers. Later we saw a long snake stretched our across the trail. I looked to see if it was a cobra snake so I could use it for a neck tie but it was just a regular one.

Afterward I stopped by Bikes and More and Brian adjusted my shifters. They are shifting amazingly now. That guy is like the Shaolin master of bikes. I also silently marveled at his beard.

Biking to work this weekend was tiring after biking the trail.

Monday my timing was messed up do to an early morning rain. I had to do my Millhopper loop later and then drive straight in to work in my bike clothes.