Rode the Cortina to work this morning (Tuesday) in the smallest chain ring just to mix it up. Had to pedal like a psycho to move at a decent clip. I thought school was over for summer but I guess not. Glen Springs Elementary was the usual Tuff Gnarl.

I decided to base my outlook for how the day would be by whatever the first song was I heard on the muzak walking into the store. It was Howard Jones' 80's hit "Things Can Only Get Better". Unfortunately, as soon as I opened the pharmacy things only got worse. Customers screamed at me about oxycodone etc. Some cool customers came in but that was outweighed by the ones that make me want to puke.

Anyway rode downtown with V this evening. It was cool.

Took advantage of my 9-5 Memorial day work schedule and snuck in my Millhopper loop ride this morning. The new pedals made a satisfying metallic click when I snapped my shoes into them. My road burns have all pretty much scabbed over. That's an improvement over the constant oozing.

My Friday bike wipeout meant I had to cancel my Saturday ride with the Cyclist on Fire. That sorry reality cut like a knife. I gingerly road to the Top Saturday night with V. Each bump reverberated through my wounds but I made out ok. Went to Boca later. There were a couple of bikes parked out front with white wall tires and pimp ass neon rims.

I need to get a purple party bike with like leopard skin fur accents, curb feelers, maybe a throw back crown air freshener mounted to the handle bars.

Sunday V and I rode with mom and Brian on the Hawthorne trail for a belated Mother's Day outing. You know that sharp right turn after a couple of downhills on the way back? I went into that turn and there was a cyclist coming the other way. I braked and started skidding again. Fortunately I kept it together. That would suck to get my road burn road burned.

I was at Bikes and More Saturday and Sunday to get new tires and have them give my bike the once over. I bought a new pair of pedals. When Paul first broached the subject of pedals I was pumped because I thought I was about to get his classic smooth soft sell. He switched it up though and just laid out his main recommendation. He mentioned a few times that the pedals were "metal on metal". That of course reminded me of the Anvil documentary. Paul also dropped some cosmic knowledge likening the career trajectory of the Black Eyed Peas to the antithesis of how he wants B&M to grow and evolve.

Saw someone riding one of those motorized bicycles on the way home from feeding a cat. It was spewing exhaust. That bummed me out. People that ride those things deserve to be waterboarded. They weren't even pedaling.

Well if you had every thought, "I wonder if Christian has sufficient bicycle handling skills to accelerate through a 90 degree turn at 23 miles an hour?" I can unequivocally tell you no I do not. I was doing my Racetrack loop. I have these periodic 5 minute spurts of more intense riding during the route. The 5 minutes weren't quite up yet and I was nearing my turn. Plus there was a truck in the right hand lane of the street I was turning on to.

So I was going faster than normal trying to make a tighter turn than normal. Also instead of just shifting my body weight to the outside pedal I kept pedaling. Midturn I realized I couldn't make the turn tight enough. I hit the brakes, lost traction and wiped out. I dragged my bike to the side of the road and laid down in the grass. The dude in the truck asked if I was ok and stayed in his truck for a minute. V drove over and picked me up.

I was bleeding and bruised but nothing is broken. The chain came off the ring but the bike is ok. It was shaping up to be a pretty good ride. I'm going in to work, but I won't be able to bike for a few days. Hopefully I won't wake up tomorrow totally effed up.

Weird ride with the Gliders this morning. This one dude I call Boss Hogg showed up. He comes out periodically and hogs all the time at the front of the pack. Usually people ride up front for 5 minutes or so then drop back. Boss Hogg was going on 25 minutes at the front. It sucks because it's way easier to ride behind someone than in front. So we are supposed to take turns so everyone gets a decent amount of exercise/training. Finally at an intersection I just pulled past Boss Hogg.

At this point the group became split up after the intersection. I'm not sure why because there was no traffic. It's just a county road. I'm soft pedaling waiting for the group to be reconstituted. Then I resume the normal pace when it looks like everyone is back together. A minute later Skeletor (this gaunt dude in his 50's who's in good shape and seems like a pretty cool dude) pulls up next to me. Skeletor says I should back off some because there is still a gap within the group. So I slow down.

At the next intersection it had been about 5 minutes so I drop back. The guy behind me - the Guest Lecturer was some new guy who is a Poly Sci teacher at UF. So we are all riding along. Eventually Boss Hogg's turn at the front comes up again. Of course he blasts out another 10 minutes plus leading. Don't get me wrong, this guy is big time. He is way out of my league and always will be. I just think he should do shorter pulls at the front or stick to riding in a different group. Maybe instead of the Gliders he could form his own group, Boss Hogg and the Rosco P. Coltranes. They could bike all over the county roads transporting moonshine.

Anyway after that it was my turn to lead. There was a headwind. When I was behind Boss Hogg I was like 4 inches off his back wheel to maximize the draft. Now I'm out front flying the flannel. So I'm leading, there is a headwind, I'm going up hills. I'm trying to keep up the standard pace but it's tough. I drop back after the 5 minutes. As I do the frickin' Guest Lecturer can't just let it lie there. He has to chirp up with a little mini lecture "Next time your speed starts to fall pull off sooner because your slowing down the whole group." I felt like raising my hand and saying "Excuse me Professor Dickweed here's my dissertation on kicking your ass". Again this guy was way better than me, but it takes a real jack hole to mouth off on his first day riding with the group (as far as I know). Plus I have a power meter and it wasn't like my effort dropped off all that much.

So then we get into the home stretch the last 6 miles or so. Grinderman is leading. Grinderman is a short heavy set gentleman in his early 30's. He grinds the pedals in these insanely high Mastodon-like gears. Often he is in the hardest gear possible. How he does it is beyond me. I'm typically spinning at over 100 rpm. He is pushing what looks like in the 50's. Anyway Grinderman drops back and it's Boss Hogg again. Boss Hogg is eager to let loose and he unloads. I am right behind him. We are riding at about 28 mph. I am right on his wheel. Even though I'm drafting I am putting out a lot of energy (>300 watts) and I know I can't keep it up. I should have just jumped out of the saddle and passed his ass for a few seconds just to fuck with him. But I hear the Guest Lecturer chomping at my heels and I really don't feel like hearing another diatribe from that jerk stain so I just pull off to the side and wave him through.

At this point the group is in tatters strung out along 53rd ave. I love how in the span of one ride I get a lecture about going too fast from Skeletor and a dressing down from the Guest Lecturer about going to slow. Meanwhile no one cares that you could watch the entire series of Lost in the time that Boss Hogg spends mugging at the front.

Oh well. We'll see what happens next week.

This morning (Tuesday) I did this thing where I put the bike(the Cortina) in an easy gear and pedal insanely fast for brief spurts. At one point I was up to 172 rpm. It definitely is a weird sensation. I get up to fairly fast speeds even though it feels like I'm pushing against nothing. My dream is to go over 200 rpm which would be ridiculous ferret on amphetamines fast.

A rare nexus of circumstances led to meeting the Cyclist on Fire on the commute home near the corner of 34th and Radio Rd.

Looking forward to a 3 month school zone reprieve next week.

Finally shattered the 40 minute barrier on the Millhopper ride this morning (Monday). Did it in 39:45. A while back I said if I ever broke 40:00 I'd be jerking everything in sight. I guess I better get a personal valet with a giant mirror.

Noticed a yard sale biking on the way to work Friday and Saturday. You know your yard sale is doomed when the centerpiece is a worn copy of the board game Clue. By day 2 no one was even staffing the sale. It had turned into please take this shit before it gets rained on, we don't feel like making the effort to throw it out ourselves giveaway.

Lots of biking downtown this weekend. V and I did the impossible Sarkara Sweets cupcake/Karma Cream ice cream double header Saturday night. One day we will add Sweet Dreams for the Triple Crown.

Let's see what else. Oh after work Friday night some dude walked into the bathroom stall while a was taking a Robert Plant-esque "Big Log" The lock is faulty. It was actually a pretty laid back interaction. The guy said "Sorry I usually try not to walk in on guys". What- "usually"- how often does this happen to him?

Saw Shermy D at Common Grounds Friday. It was cool, I had never caught his full act before. Saturday Danny was there DJing playing New Order and the Time.

For some reason two separate people have bowed to me after I answer some question for them at the pharmacy. It's like the conversation is over and they're not sure what to do. I should start encouraging that. After telling them what to use for their pinworms I will bow solemnly hands clasped and say Namaste.

Drove to the new Bahn Thai tonight (Sunday) for carry out. Sadly it was sub par. My Pad Thai tasted too peanut buttery. V couldn't even eat her Tofu Yum Woon Sen. It was cool driving down 13th with next to no traffic. Where did all the students go? It is way slower than this time last year.

Everyone knows that like Robert Plant, "my love is in league with the freeway". My biking however revolves mostly around state and county roads. Today I did my Racetrack loop. There was little wind and I wasn't held up at the lights. I equaled my best time. I still missed going under the mystical 1 hr 30 min by about 26 seconds. Still averaged about 19.5 mph for the whole ride which is a good solo effort for me.

I need to turn into one of those crazy people that has charts and graphs of my biking efforts tacked up all over my walls. There would be papers full of equations scattered all over the floor. I'd scurry around unshaven laughing maniacally.

Decided to play with madness and rode the Sempre to work on Thursday. I was doing 30 and 60 second intervals of totally balls out berserk cycling followed by a few minutes of rest. People gasped in terror as I buzzed down the road with this psychotic look on my face.

I saw the Small Kid Huge Backpack(SKHB) up close. His backpack was just normal sized that day. Maybe he is kicking back now that school is almost over. Or maybe he is saving it up for the last day of school when he is going to show up dragging this massive parachute of school supplies behind him. He was still wearing the beige old man shorts though.

Later we rode downtown to the Top, Common Grounds and Karma Cream. I popped a wheelie, saw some cool cats and said hey to some strangers. No one was at Common Grounds at all. Had the S'mores waffle cone at Karma Cream. It was revelatory.

Rode with the Gliders this morning. The ride was fine. As always they maneuvered it so I was pulling at the end. Of course in the last mile 3 of the dudes sprinted around me and took off. Then a weird thing happened. I kept cranking and one by one I repassed all of those dudes.

Rode the Millhopper loop today (Monday). Lots of debris in the lane from the weekend storm. Rode out of the saddle more than usual.

Afternoon ride to work was pleasant due to an area cool front providing respite from the usually blast furnace heat. Fewer cars on the road. I am looking forward to this summer with its corresponding decrease in students.

Tough day riding. My chain was messed up before I even started- spent 25 minutes yanking on it. Once I started the ride (Racetrack loop) I noticed the shifters were out of alignment and the bike would change gears on its own.

Took it to Bikes and More and they were kind enough to fix it right away. Keith once again invited me on their Sunday group ride. It's farther and I'm sure faster than I ride. I'm sure they would drop me in no time. Maybe I should do it anyway.

Had about as a bad a day biking as you can have without breaking your arm or getting run over. My computer was causing problems as usual. In the course of fiddling with it I somehow broke a spoke. So now the wheel was unstable and the ride was salvageable. I turned around and wobbled home in disgust.

Bikes and More fixed the wheel. Against my intuition I decided to retry riding my route before it was dark. About halfway through the ride I heard the familiar pssssstttt! I had a flat. I changed it. Something about the way the tube was sitting on the rim wasn't right but I couldn't get it on properly. Again against my better judgment I aired it up with the C02 cartridge. Of course the tube pinched and exploded instantly. So now I was far from home with a couple of trashed bike tubes. I called my man Harry who came through big time and picked me up.

Today was a write off. I could have been riding some type of Big Wheel kiddie plastic tricycle and it would have spontaneously combusted. It was just one of those days.

Rode the Millhopper loop this afternoon (Monday). I switched shifts so I had to ride after work. There must be something about Monday afternoons because once again I set a personal record (40:10). It was hot and the wind wasn't too bad. I had a shot at the elusive under 40:00 time, but didn't quite happen.

My power meter registered a lower wattage for the ride compared to some others so I went faster while working less hard. That means I was either more aerodynamic, the wind was more favorable or the meter is a little off.

Afterward I went by Bikes and More to pick up mirror that goes into the end of the handle bar. There was a huge number of staff there. It was insane, they were all by the door ready to pounce when I walked in. It was red carpet, VIP all the way. Other Christian was there.

I wonder if this bike mirror will be cool. Looking forward to biking to work tomorrow for the first time since last Tuesday.

Rode to Alachua and back with the Gliders this morning (Wednesday). I was feeling pretty strong. There was a segment I was leading into a headwind up some hills. I was just killing it trying to keep the speed up for the rest of the riders. After 5 minutes when I was ready to fall back I looked behind me and I had inadvertently dropped the whole group.

As usual at the end they maneuvered it so I was leading. They do this so they can rest up for the final sprint and blow by me. Typically, this would annoy me but today I was channeling Glenn Frey and I had a peaceful easy feeling. Honestly, I was feeling so real I could have just jumped out of the saddle and attacked with a half mile to go but I didn't want to mess up this $3700 lynx coat so instead I chilled.

Biking downtown on the Cortina Friday night I heard this horrible clanking sound below me. The bike computer had become loose on the chain stay and was now falling into the spokes. Nothing to do but cut off the cable ties and reattach it later. Which I did yesterday.

Friday the cadence meter on the Sempre was acting wonky again. I slid the pedal magnet up some and it seems to be working fine. The Racetrack ride went ok. I wasn't super motivated but still put in a decent effort. I worked the hills a little harder than usual.

Saturday I went on a Hawthorne trail ride with my esteemed colleague Harry. Saw some country possums. City possums are always stressed out with cuts and bald spots. Frantically scurrying about. These trail possums were almost cute, ambling along in a weeble wobble way. No hurry to get anywhere.