Let a some air out of my tire for my man the Cyclist on Fire who is recovering from an insane bike injury.

Rode the Sempre in to work this morning (Tuesday). I wanted to work on my cadence using the road bike instead of the Cortina. This was a bad idea. I was still sore from jumping around and getting slammed into at the OFF!/ Dinosaur Jr. show the previous night in Atlanta. I was also messed up from driving 10 hours in about a day. This was exacerbated by the more aggressive frame geometry of the Sempre. I was having hair problems and it was all in my face, mucking up my glasses as well.

Finally when I pedaled fast the backpack I wear when commuting on the Sempre was rocking all over the place. Need to rethink this.

Did my 1 minute intervals on the Sempre in to work (Thursday). Walgreens was playing this really insipid Michael Bolton/Richard Marx old stuff mix on the muzak when I walked in. Usually the music is more tolerable early in the morning but this garbage was completely unacceptable.

I didn't really go bat shit on the intervals. There were safety issues like cars pulling off of cross streets etc. I just tried to stay relaxed and not die.

After work Virginia wanted to explore some alternative bike routes so we saddled up and confirmed another way to get to 16th Ave by 34th St by cutting through some ritzy neighborhoods.

Our dream of an alternative to get to the road behind Gainesville High School remains unrealized. All those dumb apartment complexes along Glen Springs Rd like Tiffany and Cobblestone put up barriers and fences. I wish there was a bike lane on east Glen Springs Rd. Instead there is just a sidewalk on one side of the street. It is narrow and usually has other bikes and pedestrians. Plus cars trying to turn pull into the cross walk from side streets. Finally there is a bridge at the bottom of a hill that is a classic Springsteenian "death trap/ suicide rap".

Rode my bike over to this customer's house Tuesday to do a medication review. It's something that Walgreens does through Medicare. Anyway this guy is a chain smoker and the nicotine stench in his apartment was killing me. He was burning incense to cover up the smell which kind of made it worse. It was 100 degrees on the way over and sitting in that apartment I was getting a headache and nauseous feeling.

He showed me his cat who seemed cool and his ferret who he said was dying. The ferret smelled like it was dying. He had tons of swords, knives and shields on the walls. It was a little insane. He would say something like "And this here is my naked lady sword." Sure enough there was a naked woman carved into the handle. He insisted I pick up every last one of them.

He also can't read so while I was there he had me read some legal documents from his attorney. He showed me his bike. It was a mountain bike made by Giant. He wasn't riding it of late due to leg numbness and poor vision from diabetes. He said it was stolen once by a homeless guy but he recovered it when another homeless guy recognized it when the thief rolled up on it at St Francis house. The second homeless dude called the cops on the homeless thief and collected a cool $50 reward from my medication review guy.

So I was there for over an hour and a half. I had to get out of there before I puked. The guy was obviously lonely. He said I could drop by anytime and we could rock his play station together. He's a pretty all right guy. I hope his ferret makes it.

Rode the Millhopper loop this morning (Monday). I've had some pretty consistently good rides on the Millhopper and Racetrack loops of late. Getting dropped by some of the Gliders last week was still fresh in my mind. Worked on riding for longer out of the saddle today. Pounded the I75 hill and instead of backing off kept cranking up the second incline to the cross walk by the nature trail.

Forgot to mention last week I did what is known in bike fitting parlance as the "Reverse Panama" and eased the seat forward so my legs are more on top of the pedals. Seems better that way.

Rode the Hawthorne trail solo Saturday. There were a lot of foreign joggers. Also witnessed the debut of the jingling lady. She jogs with a walkman and some kind of pack strapped to her that makes tons of noise. It must have a massive set of keys and wads of change in there. In sounded like 10,000 knights in plate mail marching. Of course she was oblivious due to the headphones.

Didn't stop at the halfway point. I just eyed the empty bench, looped around and headed back. Insanely it took me exactly the same time to get to the halfway point as it did to get back (57:56). Also I used exactly the same amount of effort (129 watts). Weird and I'll have to rethink my theory about it being easier riding on the way back.

Saw the crazy backpack lady riding her bike on Glen Springs road. She covered a lot of ground when she was walking everywhere. Now she must be unstoppable. She needs a Lost-like back story.

Well today (Thursday) stunk. I had the Sempre all primed on the porch for the sick ass 1 minute intervals commute to and from work. But like Bob Seger I woke last night to the sound of thunder. The rain slowed to a drizzle and I made the call to just drive to work. There wasn't time to saddle up the Cortina and riding the Sempre in the rain didn't thrill me. I was also afraid of skidding out if I had to brake hard doing the intervals on the Sempre.

Anyway I should have just gone for it. The rain stopped. The roads didn't look that wet.

My staffing hours were cut again so Thursday was a tough day in the pharmacy. Someone called me up looking for oxycodone. She said "I'm the white girl that picks up prescriptions for the black girl." I actually realized who she was based on that ridiculous description. It set me to making up all sorts of similarly absurd juxtapositions. "I'm the bearded lady that picks up for the bald guy", etc. It seemed amusing in my head anyway. Note we actually have two bearded lady customers, no lie.

Glider ride this morning (Wednesday). We did the loop with a couple of steep ass (for Gainesville anyway) hills. Despite an insane dinner last night- spicy tofu burrito, plantain chips with dip from the Top polished off with an entire pint of Peach Cobbler ice cream from Karma Cream, I felt a little sluggish this morning. Maybe those Tuesday high cadence drills are catching up with me.

Anyway it was a big group today. There was confusion over whether we were riding single or double paceline initially. In the homestretch I punked out big time on the hill over I-75 on Millhopper road. I was leading a group of 3 other remaining riders over this hill. When I reached the crest I signaled that I was dropping back. Those dudes whizzed by but I was too gassed to reattach to the back. It was like when Nic Cage pulled the grenade pin off the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse and he blew up. So I was in no man's land, pedaling the last 14 minutes solo.

More insane pedaling. Got up to 181 RPM's today (Tuesday). Work was slow, but still sucked. I found out someone made a mistake in April that caused someone to get a $3000 drug for free. I couldn't even scream at them because the pharmacist responsible quit to move to Iowa last week.

Remember the crazy lady I saw wandering around wearing like 3 back packs long sleeves and a jacket? On the way home from the Hawthorne ride Saturday I saw her on a bike! She was on 6th st. The bike was black and shiny- looked new. I wonder what her deal is. I've always wanted to be one of those crazy Gainesville characters- like the guy that ran all over town with his arm in the air or the dude in the suit that limps around with the briefcase.

I just need a gimmick. Maybe I'll bike around town in a giant furry cat costume handing out cup cakes laced with oxycodone.

Thursday did my one minute intervals on the Sempre while commuting to and from work. I do 4 intervals of hard riding in the morning and 4 on the way home in the afternoon. It is kind of tricky because of traffic, pedestrians and random weirdness. I have these discrete areas that allow me to bug out but it's still tricky.

Saw the Cyclist on Fire this morning which along with eating an insanely delicious hummus/bean pita was the highlight of my work day. Here is a retail tip, if you (the customer) act like a jackhole no one is going to go out of their way to help you with your problem.

Also I saw a girl in the pharmacy screaming at her mother "YOU ARE A LIAR!!" over and over. Apparently this stemmed from a disagreement over whether an 8 year old should be able to use a credit card on the internet.

Finally, we mercifully ran out of oxycodone today. Unfortunately we get more tomorrow.

Lots of ground to cover. Tuesday morning ride to work. School was still in session. What do these kids have left to learn? Anyway I dodged all of the cars dropping kids off, said hey to all the usual crossing guards and weaved through the children with Barbie Princess backpacks for what the paper promises is the absolute last school day of the year.

The church on 34th/16th Ave had the word "Hoarders" posted in the marque. The quotes are theirs. I pondered this vague message but did not know what to make of it. I wondered what was being hoarded. To their credit the church did not appear to be making a value judgment on the hoarders. It just said "Hoarders". I think more churches should post open ended messages. Some churches try to get with the times and say "God has sent you a friend request."

So Tuesday is when I put the Cortina in a super low gear and pedal like a mofo just to go 14mph. I have no reason for doing this other than to amuse myself. Periodically I try to pedal as fast as I absolutely can. Each time I get up to 174 rpm. 200 rpm is my Holy Grail.

This morning (Wednesday) was the Glider ride. I was determined to be on my best behavior. There was a large contingent of riders that included, Boss Hogg, Skeletor, Publix, the Parakeet and several unfamiliar riders. The large group meant we rode double pace line for much of the ride. This invariably turns the ride into a social club with people chatting with the cyclist next to them. Of course I said nothing to the dude next to me which appeared to be fine with him. So we were all cruising along. I was dutifully not running people off the road, coming to complete stops at all intersections, maintaining my speed appropriately, pointing out obstacles and traffic- really just being a model group cyclist.

The last section Boss Hogg started to get ants in his pants as I knew he would. He started lighting it up as we approached 53rd Ave. It was him, this big dude I call the Semi and me. Boss Hogg is leading at 28mph. For the first time I witness Boss Hogg starting to tire. I always thought of him as the mutant cross between Predator and the Terminator. Maybe he was daydreaming about stealing the life force from some beginning cyclists and was distracted. In any case the Semi booms in a commanding voice "I'll drive!" and with that passes Boss Hogg. I follow expecting his mastodon like legs to open up a worm hole in the space time continuum. However his "driving" lasts all of 30 seconds then he drops back. So now I'm in front. I lay down 26-27 mph for 2 minutes then have to drop back. Hogg is waiting in the wings. I reattach behind him for a little while but cannot hang on. Three other dudes that had just been chillin' the whole time behind me pass by. And that was that. We regrouped at 53rd and 441.

I am getting a better feel for these sprints. Namely they don't last forever and everyone is hurting. Thankfully no lectures today because if someone had stepped to me over some BS I swear I would have turned that mother flippin' bike lane into a grave yard.

Caught up on all kinds of sleep by sleeping 11 hours last night. Solid ride on my Millhopper loop this morning. Rode the Hawthorne trail with the Cyclist on Fire (CoF). He is a beastmaster on his new bike. At one point some guy mouthed off to me about being in his way. I'd love to know what it is about me that makes people think they can step to me and start talking shit. CoF got this insane look on his face and sped off after him. I thought he was going to kill that guy, but I guess he didn't want to mess up his $3700 lynx coat because after a minute he chilled.

The Sunday ride to work was easy like Sunday morning. My commutes on the Cortina have evolved into slow relaxing rides, 10-14 mph.

Friday morning I headed out to do the 30 mile Racetrack loop. Of course this route was the site of my crash one week ago and like Judas Priest I was screaming for vengeance. The wind and traffic conditions were right and I felt good enough to post my personal best time. I reached my goal of riding in under 1 hr 30 minutes, averaging 19.7 mph which was cool.

I'm pumped to ride the Hawthorne trail tomorrow with the Cyclist On Fire and his new bike.

This morning (Wednesday) was the scheduled Gliders group ride. The Lone Biker of the Apocalypse (me) rode to the Chevron on 43rd which serves as the point of departure. I was recently chastened by the mild rebukes of a couple of the group members last week, being dropped by Boss Hogg and the Guest Lecturer and wiping out trying to make a turn on Friday. I vowed to maintain a low profile and not piss anyone off or injure myself.

At the gas station Boss Hogg and the Guest Lecturer were no shows, so I was riding with the sucker free club. We head out on a route I had never been on before. I'm towards the back of the pace line just chillin. My turn to lead comes up. When that happens you have to start pedaling a lot harder because now you're facing the wind resistance. Immediately this rider I call the Parakeet (small, flits around) comes up and says, "You are apparently new at this. When the previous rider pulls off don't start hammering it because they are dead and out of breath." I'm just like OK, OK, thank you. Inside I'm thinking "Cheese and rice, I'm not up front for 30 seconds and the lectures start right up. Plus I looked at my computer log later. I was only doing 20.5 mph. That's the group's normal speed. So anyway I dutifully slow down.

At this point I'm at a loss. I am now so self- conscious riding with these people it's totally frustrating. Later in the ride I'm up at the front again. This time mindful of my latest lesson I very gradually increase my effort and try not to over do it. I look in my little mirror and I see the group is way back there. So I slow down and wait for them. I am informed that I rolled through a stop sign instead of coming to a complete stop. I'm thinking "Are you effing kidding me? We are on a bleeping county road in the middle of nowhere." I respect their adherence to the rules of the road, but I just wasn't in the mood.

Later we are in the final leg of the ride. We are on the same road I wiped out on last Friday. A turn comes up. I see loose gravel and brake some, still mindful of my injuries. This causes Publix (guy who used to work at Publix) to run off the road and into the grass to avoid hitting me. He is cool about it, but that doesn't exactly boost my precarious standing in the group as the road sign running scofflaw who loves to force people off the road when he isn't busy going too fast except when he goes too slow.

We cross 441, I am up front again, super paranoid about my every pedal stroke. I look in my mirror the group is all strung out again. How did this happen? I am going slowly. The group captain says some people didn't make it across 441 in time. When I crossed I thought we were all together and there was no imminent traffic. Fine, whatever.

At this point the ride itself has been boring. I keep hoping someone will call me so at least I could rock out to Pavement's "Grounded" on my ringtone. We passed a mailbox that had the name T. Moore painted on it. I dreamed that Sonic Youth lived there and strained to hear gentle waves of feedback echoing across the country side.

Back to reality, we are on 43rd street about 2.5 miles away from the finish. This is where they usually pick it up and I get dropped, which is another source of annoyance. But today the overall pace has been slow. Plus between the scolding from the Parakeet and the two group break ups, I haven't been working very hard when leading. So I am pretty rested up. They are sprinting and it's on. I look at my speedometer. I'm partying at 31mph, thinking about my sick ass metal on metal pedals and all the watts I'm raining down upon them. It's me and 2 other dudes. Skeletor is up front, Publix and me. Skeletor drops off. Publix and I are next to each other. Publix stops pedaling and I keep going. Maybe the sprint is to some sign post or land mark, I don't know. I do know that I didn't go out like a chump which in the scheme of things doesn't mean much but it means a little.